Shifting into the new year, 1432, its all about change. Change towards being a better person in all aspects of our life. Not because others wanted us to, but we want to. We WANT to change because we NEED to change.

Dan orang-orang yang melakukan kejahatan kemudian mereka bertaubat sesudah itu dan beriman, (maka) sesungguhnya Tuhanmu sesudah itu Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani. The Holy Quran [7:153]

Lets all Dua for a Happy Peaceful Prosperous New Year 1432... with all the Blessings from Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful.

.... And no aged person is granted [additional] life nor is his lifespan lessened but that it is in a register (in the Lauh Mahfuz). Indeed, that for Allah is easy. [Noble Quran 35:11]

  

And I did not Create the jinn and humans except they should worship Me.

[Noble Quran 51:56]

1st Syawal 2010

29th Ramadhan 2010

‘Ya Allah, let the rain fall around us and not upon us, (let it fall) on the pastures, hills, valleys and the roots of trees.

One of my male cousins told her sister that he urgently need to shop for a pair of jeans. Her sister, who at that time was preoccupied with housework, responded with a nod. "Yeah, I also need to get several meters of tablecloths. So, to cut the story short... they went off shopping at one of the local supermarkets.

Her brother, who already had a list in his mind, set off directly to the men's clothing department and hunts for his pair of jeans. now, where were we... owh yeah, the sister should be targeting for tableclothes. She knew exactly where to go.

Taking the longest route, she went through the food aisle - paused to look at some fresh vegetables and fruits. She couldn't resist picking up and smelling the fruits, "maybe some for later", she said to herself. Making a U-turn at the shelves full of stationery, she was distracted by the colorful set of pens and pencils that she would have added to her shopping basket. She remembered that she bought several pens from a bookstore just the day before.

From the stationery to the hardware and kitchen utensils... she went through every piece of clothing on display... and those items 'dumped' and 'disheveled' on the shelves... obviously everyone had been digging through the stack. Suddenly, she looked at her watch.... and panicked.

She walked hurriedly passed several more racks and found the tablecloth that she need. She looked at the price and paused to think, "Maybe I should survey and compare the price at another shop". After about half an hour, she came out of the shop and found her brother waiting for her... (restless, serious and impatient) and with his new pair of jeans! "Can we go already?"

My bandaged thumb!

Observe the fingernail...

Friday, 24th Ramadhan 1431H

I stacked the fragrant Pandan leaves to about an inch high and sliced through it. The sharp thin blade easily cut through the layers and I could smell the fragrance polluting the smallish kitchen. I did this (with some tinge of pride) while observing my cousins and sister struggled to cut the leaves... "hey, let the expert do this," I gestured.

I curled my fingers (as a kitchen expert would when cutting stuff)... but forgetting the thumb. And off course, you can guess what happens next... with the same force i used to cut through the leaves, I accidentally cut into my thumbnail and into the flesh (halfway!).

Blood gushed out and the pain was unbearable. Luckily I did not faint. I suddenly remembered what was in my heart... forgive me for forgetting you, Ya Allah.

26th Ramadhan 1431

Work is work.
And life went on pause goes on.
It doesn't stop just because you got injured... no, it's nothing like that.

And working without a thumb is not so much fun... It is such a challenge.
Praise be to Allah, that have created human.
Our Khaliq.
The Best of creators.

We fall in love all the time.

We fall in love with;
a well written manuscript,
a melodious and meaningful song,
a person for different reasons,
again another person for a whole lot of other reasons,
and everything else in life that we lose count of...

Eventually at times, we will come to a crossroad - where we are confronted to choose from among the things you love most in life.

This fine morning of 21st Ramadhan, I finally understood what it means when

Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Whoever has in him three things, will experience the sweetness of Imaan.”
(These are):
i) His love for Allah and His Rasool is more than that for all and everything.
ii) His love for another (person) is motivated by only the love of Allah. i.e. His love and friendship with people are not for worldly motives. He befriends people because they happen to be pious men of Allah).
iii) A man who, after having been saved by Allah from kufr, abhors returning to kufr as much as he abhors falling into a fire.” (Bukhari and Muslim) (extracted from forum)


Ramadhan Mubarak
21st Ramadhan 1431 H

Salam,
Kayfa Halik?
Alhamdulillah, Ana Bi Khair.

MasyaAllah...right this very moment while I am typing this post
and while I repeated the above arabic greetings... I imagined myself walking down the street towards the Masjid Al-Haram (Well, I wished.... will keep on wishing though)

...In actual fact, right this very moment, a dear friend and colleague is probably still in the Masjid Al-Haram waiting to perform the Asar prayer. Reciting the quran and fasting... Nothing beats spending Ramadhan (even if for only a few days) in both Madinah and Makkah.

Ramadhan is here...a month where
the beginning of which is a mercy,
the middle Forgiveness,
and its end is a granting of freedom from the Fire...

Wherever we might be, lets together pray that we will be granted the best out of this year's Ramadhan.

Came April.
Through May.
Then June.
People everywhere suddenly turns green.
Not green with envy nor does it refers to an inexperienced green.

Every man, woman and child,
even my self acclaimed not-so-green thumb
celebrated Earth Day, Environment Day or Green Day...
a 'save the world' day.

...this post started in June and I didn't manage to close it off.
I was so busy with so little spare time... to come up with stuff to write
It felt so long ago, when I was busy with school stuff and yet still afforded
hikes through the rain forest.

So... (not trying to cook up excuses but...)
I am surrounded with empty 'mineral' water bottles, misprinted papers and drink cans
waiting to be recycled!

My colleague and I had just finished presenting our parallel paper session at UBD 15th ICE10 conference. It was more a sharing session and in an effort towards increasing educators' and researchers' awareness towards promoting web accessibility for individuals with disabilities. OK, enough with large words, jargon or IT terms.

It is simply a practice of making a particular website readable or usable for potential users or clients. You might have individuals with visual impairment ( blind or with low vision) who wants to check out your website. They might be using some form of screen reader software (that reads texts on the screen) and accessed fully using the keyboard (no mouse or track pad). Imagine how easy or difficult it will be for them to predict the layout of your web pages or move around titles and links. They would not be able to see important information displayed as graphics if you did not provide alternative text description of these images.

Some information might include complicated instructions, use of words or sentences that are difficult and use of language that is unfamiliar (second or third language) and disadvantaged some users with reading difficulties, for example.

If you are a web or content developer/manager, it would help if you read and understand the Web Accessibility Guidelines.

You could also perform an on-line web accessibility test on your web page using various Web Accessibility Evaluation Tools suggested.

In my last post was the mention of a new individual... a colleague that always keep her table clear, align her folders neatly, keep memos punched and filed, removed evidence of loose sheets.. bla bla bla... the walking organizer.

Not surprisingly though, this clash in character induced a communication breakdown between the two of us. The room temperature rocketed to a below freezing point and the silence was audible but luckily reversible. A nip in the bud... and THAT saves nine! and from evidence-based practices, it pays to grab the bulls by its horn!

Some people simply hit it off at the first meeting. Things just clicked into place and their jokes made sense (or at least, you patiently/sincerely play along). You felt that you can trust this person (off course, to a degree) and felt comfortable sharing your thoughts and interests. You either become the best of buddies or form a clique. I have secondary schoolmates that I have lost contact since graduation and yet when we meet after more than ten years, we simply picked up where we left off.

Then there are certain individual that irks you (without any logical reasons). Their presence seemed to take up your private space. Their 'well-meaning' chitchat seemed to pollute the sound quality and they tend to blend into the background noise. Their expressive concerns could sometimes be irritating... etc etc.. if you know what I mean. Eh, sorry you would not know what I am talking about. This was just something that came up and was debated with a friend. A useless debate... current and nagging. I argued that this was not the case, you do not dislike a certain individual for no apparent reason. Well, a friend once told me that, we might see ourself in that individual... just like Magnets, like poles repel?

I have had difficulties in trying to wrap up this post and at first I was unsure what was the point to this post at all. Then I realized that I have met a certain individual that seemed to challenge my peaceful environment. Not that this person present a potential dilemma to my already chaotic life. I have learnt to understand my current predicament and succeeded to keep the mess manageable. This person showed the will to organize the disorganized, to command and calm the waves of disjointed concepts and probably will make life less exciting than it already is.

There’s an old saying that "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior", should I put on my protective headgear and body armour?

I sat snugly on the prayer mat after performing a two 'rakaat' prayer for the fulfillment of needs or Hajat Prayer. I raised up my hands and started to read out my 'doa'.

I have had a bad day. A sad day. There are some things in life that I would like to improve, decisions in the past that I regretted making and hoped that Allah will grant me all my wishes. I listed all my needs and yet wanted so much more...

Forgive me, Ya Allah, I do not want to be so ungrateful. Thank you for all the good things in life that you have granted upon us... thank you for the health
(at this juncture, I remembered an afternoon a few days back, when a student suffered a seizure just as he was about to take his tea break, how he spilled all his food all over the desk when he loose control of his body)

Thank you for blessing me with perfectly grown legs, so I can walk anywhere I like... (while some student braved their way to school on wheelchairs, everyday hoping that their friends will always stick around just in case they can't reach that door, that special room or anywhere around school)

Thank you for the gift of sight ... (when a colleague have to walk around in 'total darkness', I wasted every second of that guiding rays)

Ya Allah, Most forgiving and Most Merciful
thank you for everything,
(I was teary eyed at this point,
and stopped myself,
....for wanting so much more?)

From zikir "Marhaban"
"Welcome! Welcome! O the light of my eyes. Welcome!
Welcome! Welcome! The grandfather of Imam Husain. Welcome!"

He was just a man,
as human as you and me,
but he was (and still is)
the perfect man.

His personality,
his family,
his devotions,
and his life
is a perfect model
for humankind.

She jumped off her wagon, smoothed her ruffled blouse and put on a hooded cloak, feeling glad that the oversized hood hid most of her face. She walked passed the near empty parking lot... the seams of the dusty overworked cloak swept over the gravel. When she entered the broken-down diner, heads turned and silence dawned. The stranger that just entered was a woman with a glare that drilled through bones and scars which suggested that this once smooth-face had been touched with a scalpel... a character that could have jumped out of the "Pirates of the Caribbean".

Let me start again. Yesterday afternoon was not as exciting as the above. I left the hospital quite late, a few minutes over my office hours. I exited the OMF clinic with two patches, one on my left cheek and the other, below my right eye. I just had my mole removed. It grew in three years and I had been ignoring it since because I thought I could never undergo the painful process of removing it.

Before the trip to the hospital, I prayed Solat Hajat... asking for Allah's mercy, kindness and protection, hoping that Allah will always remember me, especially under the surgeon's knife. I prayed that Allah will make it a smooth, safe and less painful process. Alhamdulillah.

With stitches and a slightly bruised right eye, I am thankful that I came out okay... I know, you probably shrugged it off and said "owh... its only a mole removal and its nothing major". Something as minute and as short as a gasp of breath, might stop functioning if Allah has forgotten about it!

Happiness is knowing that Allah will always be there...

Are you happy?
If you were given a chance to go back in time,
what will you change?
If you were to choose another life,
who do you want to be?

If pre-requisite to your happiness is a shopping list,
what shall you order,
will it fill up rows of carts and
will you take discounted items?
Will you be?

Do you accept a glass half full
or work harder to fill it to the brim,
predicting happiness to overflow?

Are you at war with yourself,
your emotions in conflict and
needs clearly undefined?
If we can find inner peace,
will we be greeted with happiness?

Do we want so much more when
Allah, The Most Gracious & Most Merciful,
had given us more than we ever deserved?

I woke up around 2 a.m. Its very early for me considering that I slept around nine. I tried to get back into bed... yet I was still up after nearly two hours of toss and turn... My mind was hyperactive. I was thinking. Heh, thinking is good but NOT when you are trying to get back to sleep. So, I turned to the computer... cleaned my aquarium, fed my fishes and removed dead ones. Yeah, it was easier, drier and not messy at all. That's FishVille! My Cafe was a little quiet. All of the dishes weren't ready and I ran out of cash, redecorating. How's the farm? you may ask, because I have 'green fingers' and had planted and harvested quite successfully. (hyperactivity leading to useful nonsense).

Aaaah...
if life is several 'clicks' away
if mistakes could be erased and corrected as easy as 'cut and paste'
and if the things in life is as manageable as 'drag and drop'
will life be less complex?

There's templates
there's action scripts
automatic is everything
and decisions will be as fast as 'Yes', 'No' or 'Cancel'
Will life be less human?

When there's a power failure
and there's auto recovery
am I making sense?
or absolute nonsense?

It was raining heavily yet I kept my driving speed constant. Straining my eyes to stay within the lane, oblivious to the cold topped by the car air-conditioning, my mind was probably calmer than the weather. A car overtook, went over a puddle and splashed a stream of water onto my windscreen. For a split second, I couldn't see anything. I hit on the brakes and slowed down. If you spent a significant amount of your time on the road like I did, this was just an echo of your experience.

I don't want to talk about the rain although it was the rain that everybody talked about these days. Front lawns flooding, a truck chocked off smokes after braving a submerged road, drains and pipes overflew. The downpour merely calmed and cooled but the driving was my real therapy.

For some of us, not excluding myself, shopping is a form of therapy. Buying things on impulse or simply getting something you have been aiming for quite a while, and buying it made you feel good. And when the buying power is on the low, window-shopping is another healthier (to the pocket) alternative.

Writing could also be a form of therapy. You could write anonymously, you could write your hearts out or you could be babbling impersonal matters to invisible audiences (such as this blog). You could write your problems off your shoulder and temporarily keep it safe... until the next time you revisit, read it as if it was someone else's problem. It might help to see the situation in a different light.

Allow me to write... to keep you reading.
Authorize my writing, and I will write my way to your hearts.

A friend asked if I have something special prepared for the coming new year celebration. New year? I thought we ARE already into the second week of our new calendar year, 1431 Hijrah. But yeah, 2010 is another new calendar year.

I guessed, you should already be writing down new resolutions at the end, and before the new year cycle begins. It is time to look back and reflect. What happened in the course of the 365 days that was better? what was there that wasn't in the previous year? About.com Guide listed top ten new year resolutions. How does this list represent you or me?

1. Spend more time with family and friends
To some, 2009 had been a great year because time spent with family and friends improved either in quantity or quality wise. Talking about quality, you could be sitting in the same living room with your family while working on your laptop catching up with unfinished office work. You were there, but you weren't.

I can count with my fingers, the number of outings, social gatherings and meetings that I had with friends. Last year had been the worst in history. Maybe I will look into the matter seriously this year!

2. Fit in fitness
Uh? say what?... I have been avoiding sports for quite a number of years. How about you? I know a friend who started walking beginning this year...and I said "Keep it up, be it slow, never stop." Another friend ran nearly every evening after work.

The only time I wore slacks and sport shoes was last June when we went jungle trekking at Ulu Temburong. I need to find that shoes or get a new pair!

3. Tame the bulge
Hahahahaha ahahahahah no comment on this. Gravity seemed to be more friendlier as you add another 365 days to your time spent on this planet. Get out of that chair, peel your eyes from the television and start doing push-ups or sit-ups.

4. Quit smoking
I know that I don't smoke. I am not sure whether this is a gender thing or not, but it is Makruh is Islam. Do you smoke? I guess its a personal choice but if its something that is better (for our health) avoided than we have got nothing to loose.

5. Enjoy life more
Yeah, I wrote something about this before (refer to past post) on how I spent less working on office work after work hours. This is a serious matter... yes, I am talking about you too.

6. Quit drinking
Yeah, 'drinking' for us will have to refer to non-alcoholic beverages... and yeah, I really have to reduce intake of carbonated drinks. It is definitely very friendly to the bulges but not to our well-being. This have to be included in my top 10.

7. Get out of Debt
Yeah, this is everyone's target.... I still have my loans to cover, but this is a very important resolution to include every year, hahahah until you are really debt-free.

8. Learn something new
This is my favourite of all. In fact this have to be included in your list too. I was happy that in 2009, I learnt to bake mexican bread and pizza to near perfection. Cooking is simply a necessity for me and never a hobby, but 2009 has been a great year because I had the chance to test my skills in bread making. I am happy that this enthusiasm did not stop halfway because I am going into cake decorating at the moment. So, 2010 had me start a blog called Sengkarai Baker. Hahaha don't get excited just yet, I just uploaded 2 photo posts of 3D cakes. If this is not a 'hangat-hangat tahi ayam' thing, you will see more coming.

Our (another friend and I) top learning aim is to understand and converse in Arabic, which I haven't the opportunity to do properly yet. The Arabic learning for me at the moment was to read verses from the Quran and read the translation. Will look into this matter....

9. Help others
I don't know about you, but I have been doing this ever since I know how to do this. Nothing to be gloating over... either done out of responsibility or compassion. Hmmm maybe I should consider taking this out of my top 10, huh?

10. Get organized
Definitely in my top 10. I am very disorganised in most things! It is my weakness. Rather than trying to change, I should device a new plan on turning this weakness into a strength..... hmmm that's a thought.

I should stop here....