Adapun nikmat Tuhanmu, maka hendaklah engkau sebut-sebutkan (dan zahirkan) sebagai bersyukur kepadaNya. - Al-Qur'an [93:11]

Allah jualah yang menguasai alam langit dan bumi serta segala yang ada padanya; dan Dia lah jua yang Maha Kuasa atas tiap-tiap sesuatu. Al-Quran (5:120)

Upset.
Sad.
Disheartened.
Dispirited.


All the words that I can associate... on first sight. Well, only for several moments. I know that this shouldn't be affecting me. I am used to life in a hostel or dormitory. Every year we moved rooms or floors... I have a dislike for packing and unpacking my stuff. My stomach churns every time before I went back to the hostel from weekends. I did not entirely dislike hostel life... in fact being around friends and school life was probably one of my best-kept memories...  


BUT packing and unpacking somewhat disturbed me, now that I thought of it that was actually good training for life. Somehow nothing in life is forever. People come and go. Doors opened and closed. We moved around. We met people and become friends. We got hold of new gadgets and misplaced them along the way. 


So don't be sad. How can we lose something that was never ours in the first place?

"O Allah! Nothing is easy except what You have made easy. If You wish, You can make the difficult easy". - Ya Allah, tiada kemudahan melainkan apa yang Engkau jadikan mudah, dan Engkau dapat menjadikan tanah (yang suit dan keras), (yakni kesusahan), itu mudah jika Engkau mahukan.

Demi Masa! Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian. Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, dan mereka pula berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan dengan sabar - Al-'Asr 103:1-3.

Of all the things that we do in a day, only 20% of it really matters. That's what basically the 80/20 rule is; known as the Pareto's Principle or what Juran recognised as the 'vital few and trivial many'. This technique helps identify the most important problems i.e. 20% of those causes that create 80% of the problems.

We prayed five times a day, about 30 minutes each and this totalled up to 150 minutes. This made up approximately 20% of our time in a day. What happened to the other 80% time spent doing other things? Do we actually forget about Allah?

How does this apply to friendships or relationships? Think about the person we went head over heels in love with... when his/her smile reached his/her eyes and brightened up your days or when his/her quips and witty remarks gain your approval all the time i.e. the 80% positive side of the person. So what happens to the 20% negative or flaws?

I have always felt that I am one of the busiest person in the world, yet when I looked at the things that I did in a day, I was only able to accomplish 20% of my to-do list! So what went wrong? Was I distracted and did I bounce from one task to another? So I did not manage my time properly and prioritise my work. 80% of those tasks could have been completed in 20% of the time!!

I glanced at my closet. My baju kurong filled the entire length of it and yet I wouldn't be surprised to find if I only wear 20% of those clothes 80% of the time! I only grabbed those that I feel familiar and comfortable with... finally saves time selecting for matching scarves!!! If go a little further, I can correctly guess that 80% of the stuff I have in my room are probably utilised 20% or less. So why collect so many personal belongings if we only need 20% of those anyway?!!!


So, I promise to cherish, appreciate and care for the 20% or less and whatever Allah bestowed upon me... I will not ask for the 80% if the risks include losing the other 20%.

Sesungguhnya Allah mengetahui segala rahsia di langit dan di bumi; sesungguhnya Ia mengetahui akan segala (isi hati) yang terkandung di dalam dada.  -- The Holy Quran [35:38]

Our heart is also our aurah, a friend iterated. I like that concept.

We steered very hard from falling victims to fashions that seemed to 'cover' our body and yet we forgot to protect the purity of our heart.

I will have to stop talking about the heart at this point as to avoid revealing too much of the turbulence that is brewing within mine. Maybe the wind will stop blowing, the tremor will pass and I will regain my balance! I will leave the matter to Him, Most Knowing Most Merciful.

Wow... I nearly forgot about this blog. I am not sure if I would like to continue writing but maybe I should.

Meanwhile...  lot of things happened since but not a lot of those things are worth the mention, at least to the world. Whatever happened in our personal life should remain personal but the lessons learned should be constantly updated to our 'OPA' ... ;)

Happy 2012.

"Dan apabila aku sakit, maka Dia lah yang menyembuhkan penyakitku;" The Holy Quran, Surah Asy Syu'ara' [26:80]

My stomach was in knots. I am always nervous even when I saw the word HOSPITAL. I am not fond of needles and I used to faint at the sight of blood. As much as I wanted to avoid it, there is always the need to be there. Seated outside the operation theatre amongst family members who waited anxiously for hours... is not a situation you want to picture yourself to be in.

When the agony of the 'wait' was over... there was the painful feeling of watching someone waking up with the sedative slowly taking off. Weak and in pain, all I could do was stood silently and tried to think of something to say to the family standing closest. Visiting sick relatives usually get us to think and rethink about our own presence, our own life journey. To stop, assess and reevaluate our track. Should we continue the intended path or have we been derailed?

I was handed over a small book and recited the Zikir to grant us Syifaa. Only from You, Ya Rabb, the Mighty Healer.

Today was the most awaited date for my nephews and nieces. Their parents' flight back home. They braved through the 56 days on their own... well, under the care of a now semi-professional 'nanny' i.e. yours truly!

My log-book as follows:
I have burnt lunch once (defrosting mum's pervious' nights' dinner), nearly burnt a trouser at ironing, passionately over-watered the nearly-withered plants (after realizing that my cousin actually have live plants outside the balcony), left blisters on the right arm from frying chicken and spent two sleepless nights at the children's ward!

Hey, you don't know me. I am not that bad. Alhamdulillah, the hospital experience alerted me of their sister's habit of not taking enough drinking water. She pecked and picked her food. When she was first admitted, I nearly cried and blamed myself for not being meticulous... I didn't pay attention to their eating habits. Alhamdulillah, she is more lively and energetic now. She drank water at regular intervals. Mum helped picked some vitamins for her to take.

Saturday, 7th May 2011.
I woke up early morning for Subuh prayer. Thank you, Ya Rabb, for giving me the opportunity to experience the 56 days of challenge. I have gotten to know more about my cousin's children, love them and most important of all, the journey had been worthwhile. The tasks taught me a lot of things, made me somehow a slightly better person (a long way to go), leant useful lessons in patience and passion through things that we simply took for granted and most important of all, thank you Ya Rabb, for being there watching over us.




My life is back to normal. Well, slightly bit more than normal. I am 56 days older and wiser. I still have a few days of leave (well, what's left of my 28 days leave anyway) that I can spend ...umm let me see, after days spent driving kids to school, cooking, laundry, afternoon naps, surfing the net, catching up on work... maybe I will just rest at home, stay away from my computer (when possible), maybe improve on my baking skills... arghhhh nothing exciting, but these will do for now!

or MAYBE I will go to the movies again. I watched Fast & Furious: Fast Five last night with Elva and Nana. Maybe I will watch it again heh... will you come with me? ;)

4 as in the number 4... a sum of four ones, or the answer to two apples plus two apples. Exactly two weeks ago, I left the airport with four teenagers left under my care for five weeks as their mum left for Singapore with their dad to undergo a series of treatment. Exactly two weeks ago I felt confident that I would sail through tasks that felt so familiar and sounded like 'a piece of cake';
1. wake up early, prepare breakfast and lunch
2. drive them to school
3. drive myself to work
4. pick them from school
5. do dishes and laundry
6. prepare dinner when necessary
7. go to bed early
8. go back to number 1

Cook, wash, drive... nothing could be easier than this, right?
well, after two weeks... I woke up early dawn, sometimes too early, just thinking about the breakfast that I will prepare that WILL be acceptable to four teenagers that have different eating preferences! My mind was kept partly occupied with thoughts of having to go back early to prepare or buy lunch because I woke up having not enough time to prepare them.

My hands red and itchy... rashes resurfaced from allergies (non-stop use) to detergents. hahahah I havent been doing heavy laundy or did dishes everyday of the week since my hostel days or before the word MAIDS were introduced into our vocabulary. The maids were an added bonus to our life yet the allergies stayed!

My cousin started her treatment today. AND today we were told that the five weeks should start from today.

"Hey, what happened yesterday? Tell me, something interesting happened in the morning right after you arrived at work",    "My foot lah... No way I am going to tell you!"

Hahahahah...really, I have always liked that expression... 'My Foot!'

But yeah, I have always taken for granted that my foot is always ready to walk me everywhere. As always without thinking, the brain just routinely asked the right/left feet to step-up when it sees the stairs. BUT this time, the brain just failed to estimate the distance...because it was busy doing other things and hence was charged guilty of causing the TWISTED feet.

I was ready to put my best foot forward this week, but Allah has other plans for me.... and I got off on the wrong foot this morning at work. I attended two meetings that required me to be on my feet most of the time. I limped to the lift (at my flat, luckily), limped (sort of clung at the handrails) past the stairs, limped across the road (slightly embarrassed for slowing the traffic)... and everywhere else. Oh how I miss my healthy foot.

And most of all... sitting between the two sujoods, I have problem getting the right foot upright!

Shifting into the new year, 1432, its all about change. Change towards being a better person in all aspects of our life. Not because others wanted us to, but we want to. We WANT to change because we NEED to change.

Dan orang-orang yang melakukan kejahatan kemudian mereka bertaubat sesudah itu dan beriman, (maka) sesungguhnya Tuhanmu sesudah itu Maha Pengampun, lagi Maha Mengasihani. The Holy Quran [7:153]

Lets all Dua for a Happy Peaceful Prosperous New Year 1432... with all the Blessings from Allah, Most Gracious and Most Merciful.

.... And no aged person is granted [additional] life nor is his lifespan lessened but that it is in a register (in the Lauh Mahfuz). Indeed, that for Allah is easy. [Noble Quran 35:11]

  

And I did not Create the jinn and humans except they should worship Me.

[Noble Quran 51:56]

1st Syawal 2010

29th Ramadhan 2010

‘Ya Allah, let the rain fall around us and not upon us, (let it fall) on the pastures, hills, valleys and the roots of trees.

One of my male cousins told her sister that he urgently need to shop for a pair of jeans. Her sister, who at that time was preoccupied with housework, responded with a nod. "Yeah, I also need to get several meters of tablecloths. So, to cut the story short... they went off shopping at one of the local supermarkets.

Her brother, who already had a list in his mind, set off directly to the men's clothing department and hunts for his pair of jeans. now, where were we... owh yeah, the sister should be targeting for tableclothes. She knew exactly where to go.

Taking the longest route, she went through the food aisle - paused to look at some fresh vegetables and fruits. She couldn't resist picking up and smelling the fruits, "maybe some for later", she said to herself. Making a U-turn at the shelves full of stationery, she was distracted by the colorful set of pens and pencils that she would have added to her shopping basket. She remembered that she bought several pens from a bookstore just the day before.

From the stationery to the hardware and kitchen utensils... she went through every piece of clothing on display... and those items 'dumped' and 'disheveled' on the shelves... obviously everyone had been digging through the stack. Suddenly, she looked at her watch.... and panicked.

She walked hurriedly passed several more racks and found the tablecloth that she need. She looked at the price and paused to think, "Maybe I should survey and compare the price at another shop". After about half an hour, she came out of the shop and found her brother waiting for her... (restless, serious and impatient) and with his new pair of jeans! "Can we go already?"

My bandaged thumb!

Observe the fingernail...

Friday, 24th Ramadhan 1431H

I stacked the fragrant Pandan leaves to about an inch high and sliced through it. The sharp thin blade easily cut through the layers and I could smell the fragrance polluting the smallish kitchen. I did this (with some tinge of pride) while observing my cousins and sister struggled to cut the leaves... "hey, let the expert do this," I gestured.

I curled my fingers (as a kitchen expert would when cutting stuff)... but forgetting the thumb. And off course, you can guess what happens next... with the same force i used to cut through the leaves, I accidentally cut into my thumbnail and into the flesh (halfway!).

Blood gushed out and the pain was unbearable. Luckily I did not faint. I suddenly remembered what was in my heart... forgive me for forgetting you, Ya Allah.

26th Ramadhan 1431

Work is work.
And life went on pause goes on.
It doesn't stop just because you got injured... no, it's nothing like that.

And working without a thumb is not so much fun... It is such a challenge.
Praise be to Allah, that have created human.
Our Khaliq.
The Best of creators.

We fall in love all the time.

We fall in love with;
a well written manuscript,
a melodious and meaningful song,
a person for different reasons,
again another person for a whole lot of other reasons,
and everything else in life that we lose count of...

Eventually at times, we will come to a crossroad - where we are confronted to choose from among the things you love most in life.

This fine morning of 21st Ramadhan, I finally understood what it means when

Hadhrat Anas (radiallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Whoever has in him three things, will experience the sweetness of Imaan.”
(These are):
i) His love for Allah and His Rasool is more than that for all and everything.
ii) His love for another (person) is motivated by only the love of Allah. i.e. His love and friendship with people are not for worldly motives. He befriends people because they happen to be pious men of Allah).
iii) A man who, after having been saved by Allah from kufr, abhors returning to kufr as much as he abhors falling into a fire.” (Bukhari and Muslim) (extracted from forum)


Ramadhan Mubarak
21st Ramadhan 1431 H

Salam,
Kayfa Halik?
Alhamdulillah, Ana Bi Khair.

MasyaAllah...right this very moment while I am typing this post
and while I repeated the above arabic greetings... I imagined myself walking down the street towards the Masjid Al-Haram (Well, I wished.... will keep on wishing though)

...In actual fact, right this very moment, a dear friend and colleague is probably still in the Masjid Al-Haram waiting to perform the Asar prayer. Reciting the quran and fasting... Nothing beats spending Ramadhan (even if for only a few days) in both Madinah and Makkah.

Ramadhan is here...a month where
the beginning of which is a mercy,
the middle Forgiveness,
and its end is a granting of freedom from the Fire...

Wherever we might be, lets together pray that we will be granted the best out of this year's Ramadhan.

Came April.
Through May.
Then June.
People everywhere suddenly turns green.
Not green with envy nor does it refers to an inexperienced green.

Every man, woman and child,
even my self acclaimed not-so-green thumb
celebrated Earth Day, Environment Day or Green Day...
a 'save the world' day.

...this post started in June and I didn't manage to close it off.
I was so busy with so little spare time... to come up with stuff to write
It felt so long ago, when I was busy with school stuff and yet still afforded
hikes through the rain forest.

So... (not trying to cook up excuses but...)
I am surrounded with empty 'mineral' water bottles, misprinted papers and drink cans
waiting to be recycled!